


Please make it quieter

by crunchy_leafs



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alexis | Quackity-centric, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Duck Hybrid Alexis | Quackity, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Me? Projecting? Never., Mental Breakdown, Past Abuse, Pig Hybrid Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Self-Destruction, Violent Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 14:27:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29934786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crunchy_leafs/pseuds/crunchy_leafs
Summary: You looking for some pain to read?It's all over the place but it's angst nonethelessMight rewrite this
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity/Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 90





	Please make it quieter

**Author's Note:**

> This is a mess and all over the place. But just  
> A n g s t 
> 
> Also this was longer then I expected lol

Quackity hid in the closet. Pulling clothes on top of him to see if the light weight would ground him in anyway. He curled up into a ball, he hated this. Why out of nowhere? Nothing bad has happened. He's been happy, unable to feel anything but positive things. 𝘖𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺.

It's fine, it's all been fine. So why is he hurting so badly? Why does he want to rip his eyeballs out so he didn't start to cry. He hated crying, it felt embarrassing, it made him feel pathetic, it made him feel gross. Never did he let tears fall, out of pride and because why would he want to cry? It does nothing but make him feel worse. 

The bad thoughts, there getting worse. Please fucking stop. What even are the bad thoughts? Why can't he think about what's making him feel this way? Is it because there's so many? Or is it just because there's no real reason for him to feel this way? 

It feels overwhelming and tiring. He feels violent, he feels sad and angry. But also he feels nothing. Like all the bad thoughts and temptations are canceling each other out. 

He wants to hurt something. He wants to so badly, make something stuffer or break. But he doesn't want to do that, he never does. Why cause pain to others just because you're hurting badly? Hurting so badly you want someone or something to feel the pain with you. It felt like he was on fire, he wanting to rip every strip of clothing off of him and tear it up, it felt too hot. Make the feeling go away. 

He wants to set everything a blaze. All his troubles and memories. What would he even burn? Please give him an answer. He doesn't know, all his bad memories are just a haze only hitting back to him at the most random of times. He can't even remember the simplest things that trigger him to be like this. His skin feels like it's on fire. Itchy and feels like something his crawling up his arms. 

It's a familiar feeling. He knows how to get rid of it. Create open wounds so it feels like the unbearable feelings and thoughts are just leaking out of you like the blood is. 

He wants to scream. So loudly. Scream so much till it feels like his throat will rip. Scream and break something. Everything is so much and too little at the same time. Apart of him loves this. Why? He couldn't tell you, parts of him wants to hurt himself badly. Go threw things he knows would break him. Would scar him for the rest of his life. Only to laugh at his stupid actions in the end. 

The unwanted touches. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮? The unforgettable words from people he loved, being thrown out as a friend or lover. Being used just to please other people. But he was still loved then wasn't he? I don't know, just love me please. 

He was the comedian. He made other people laugh. Made them feel better. He felt a sort of archivement threw that. How would people think if this was how he really was? Would they pity him and just laugh at his jokes because of that? Did they already know? Are they all just laughing and playing along because he's so broken? 

Quackity pulled at his hair harshly, making his scalp throb in pain and his face go red, his wings tightly folded behind his back so much so he felt himself getting tired by the action. 

He felt it now.

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴.

They finally fell. He didn't want them to. Make them stop. 

He threw the clothes off of his head and shoulders, frustratingly. He clawed at his cheeks, wanting to feel something that 𝘱𝘩𝘺𝘴𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 hurt. 

He felt weak and pathetic why was he feeling like this again? Nothing bad happened I swear. Just give me an answer

Quackity laughed. 

He laughed, so hard. Punching at the ground. Feeling his knuckles sting. Blood. Don't stop till you see blood. 

Everything came to a fuzz in his mind and surroundings. No sound, the bad thoughts where now just a jumbled mess in his head. His laughing turned into loud sobbing, his throat closing up. Making it harder to breathe. 

He couldn't even comprehend what was happening but just the numbing pain on his knuckles. 

He didn't even realize that someone was now infront of him, looking in horror and heart break. Techno carefully pushing at Quackity's shoulders back, careful not to get hit. 

Watching as Quackity jumped and accidentally hit his lover in his hazy moment of frustration and sadness. Techno didn't comment about it though, he didn't even flinch. Quackity's weak protests to get his hands off of him were heard has he trembled in Techno's hold, his hands having a firm grasp on the duck hybrids shoulder. 

He looked at Quackity's state. His hair messily in his face, beanie almost close to falling off. His wings dropped down lowly, puffing up. Soft red lines going down his cheeks, is eyes puffy and red. His knuckles were an angry red, small cuts from the wooden floor. 

It hurt the piglin hybrid greatly. So see his love in so much pain, feeling the need to be hiding away in a small closet to not be seen. But he didn't want to get too caught up in it.  
Now it was about Quackity and trying to calm him down. 

His cries slowly grew quiet, small hiccups here and there. He never opened his eyes. So scared and humiliated that someone now saw him like this. 𝘛𝘦𝘤𝘩𝘯𝘰𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘥𝘦 has to see him like this, he should have hid better or have been more quiet. His head hurt, it hurt so much.

A headache to add to his embarrassment of the breakdown he is now recovering from. He felt something warm wrap around him. Something 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 and strong. Hesitantly Quackity opens his eyes, it takes more effect then it should. He doesn't see anything but just long pink hair in the corner of his eye. His head his rested against the tallers chest, feelings a gentle hand rub his back soothingly. 

It feels nice. 

From feeling everything in pain, in his head down to his hands. To feeling the soft, gentle touches of a person who 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘴 him. How could anyone love this? He doesn't deserve it. But always Techno makes him feel the love and affection he didn't know could come in a relationship. He was always used and thrown out, only to be picked up by the same or different person. 

Gentle words of reassurement came from Techno, his voice low and rumbly. It made Quackity melt. He never knew just hearing someone's voice could make you feel something else but fear. He loved it, he loved everything about him. How Techno held him in his lap, not forcing him to be still, to look at him, to have to think of a way out of his hold. No, he wanted to be here. He wanted to feel Techno's loving touches. Feel him in any way he could. He made his mind quieter and not race so frankly. 

Finally, he had the motivation to shift around. Moving to face Techno the best he could. His vision was still blurry but not from tears just sleepiness, his punching and silent arguing in his head was catching up to him. Quackity cupped Techno's cheek, caressing it and just admired him. Ignoring the stinging pain everytime he moved his hand joints. He adored this man. So dearly. Loved him with everything he had and the other hybrid did the same. He felt like crying again but for a whole different reason. Techno was always looked at as terrifying. Rightfully so, he was violent, angry, blood lusting and skilled. But he never was with Quackity, he was so gentle, protective, awkward and caring.

He was so pretty to add on top of it all. It was unfair honestly, Quackity mentions it alot whenever he can. It always made the piglin hybrid flush up to his pointy ears. It was so silly, so stupidly adorable.

"I love you." 

Was the first thing Quackity had said. He always had a hard time saying those words, not a lot of good things happened to him when he did. But it was so sincere, there wasn't enough actions or words to show how much he truly appreciated the man holding him. He kissed Techno's jaw, not having enough energy to fully shift up to kiss the other's lips. It made Techno smile, a hand holding Quackity's wrist and moving his head slightly to kiss his palm. 

It was nothing now. Nothing but love, no bad thoughts or temptations. It all faded to the back of his mind, disappearing into absolutely nothing just for him to forget that nothing bad ever happened to him. Nothing in his mind but the fact he was so smitten for this man it made him look stupid. Damn. 

"I love you as well my dearest."

**Author's Note:**

> Story pacing? What's that?
> 
> 𝘈𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦, 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺


End file.
